Looking out my window at the beautiful sunrise with my special blend of homemade cappuccino coffee; I contemplated yesterday’s message left by my ex, Kevin. So many mix emotions and memories come to mind and heart. I hate that for the most part I thought I forgave, but at times I resent ever crossing paths with him. As I stand in the window, tears roll down my face as I begin to remember the worst of times and then I whisper, “God, it still hurts. Please help me. I do not want to feel like this anymore. Please help me.” As I stand gazing out the window, I see an abandon cat walking and I said to myself, “I know exactly how you feel little kitty! I have been abandoned too and I would really like for someone to feed and love on me too.” I then decided to go in the kitchen and warm some milk in a bowl and I set it outside my door. As I walked over to check my mailbox, I hear my next door neighbor, Ms. Savannah greet me with a smile and hello. I forced myself to return the smile as I waved back and replied, “Good Morning”. I sped up my walkway to return into my home before a conversation between us two was able to present itself. I quickly shut my door with a sign of relief, “Whoo, I am glad I got out of that one. Please forgive me Lord, I just can not entertain conversation at this time.”
“Meow, Meow, Meow”, I hear. I turn and walk towards my door as I look out my window, it is the little kitty drinking the milk. I decided to open the door to let her in. “Hey little kitty! You wanna come in?” She walked in and I grabbed the bowl of milk I set outside. “I am Ruth, what is your name?” She just stares back and forth at me as she licks her fur. “Great!” I thought. “I have resorted to talking to a cat that I know can not talk back.” “OMG!” “Let’s see here, you do not have a collar, so I do not know who you belong to.” As I walked towards my breakfast nook, the little kitty followed me. I sat down to begin sorting through my mail and she starts roaming the kitchen. I say aloud, “I see you know how to make yourself at home little kitty”. “Well, go right ahead, everyone should have a home to go to and someone to love.” As I sorted through the mail, I had an envelope address to me from Kevin. I screamed out loud, “Are You Serious Right Now?” “Huh, Lord why me?” Why now?” “Please just leave me alone”. It was an 8 x 11 envelope and it felt like something was in it. My eager curiosity led me to open it and it was a cd with a written letter. “Huh, not again”. I knew this was major when Kevin sends me a cd with a written letter. I remember his memorizing vocals that always seemed to put my heart at ease. I knew the emotional rollercoaster had begun, but I was determined to fight against it.
I pulled out my phone to schedule an appointment online right away with my Life & Relationship Empowerment Coach, Samantha. I know I needed professional back up before I read the letter and listened to the c.d. The soonest she had an appointment was this coming Friday around 3:00 p.m. so I booked it without hesitation. I could not help but notice the scent of his cologne on the written letter. The cologne I introduced him to and bought him on his birthday, Valentine’s day and Christmas. He made sure to include a gift card to my favorite wellness spa, SUIPStyle.com Wellness Lounge. I acknowledged out loud, “He made sure to try to communicate to all my senses with this one.” “Huh, Samantha, I need you now, I thought.” “But I am going to have to call Chanel for now.” So I picked up the phone and rang one of my closest and most responsible girlfriends, Chanel. “Hey Nelly, it’s your girl Ruth” please return my call. I need to speak with you ASAP! He contacted me girl!”